Yeah... I see it, I hear it, and I've been reading it all over social media & blogs... u guys r stresses, depressed, nervous breakdowns, etc... it's kinda going around... the news is insane, and so on...
I'm all too familiar with the proverb: "No good deed goes unpunished."
So much work this year, so much hell, most of which I can't even discuss for a list of reasons, including legal ones. battles with getting stuff that's ur right, or stuff that u deserve, and so on... or even for others, and not even myself... stress... stress... and more stress. Lack of nutrition, and medical problems like psoriasis, and thinning hair, digestive problems, blood issues, and not just me...
So, at times, trying to do something "normal" for myself like take care of my health, or basic exercising would cause me more stress, because of bad weather, or the moment I'd go outside, I'd get accosted by annoying folks wanting something from, me, or the screw with me... and calling up my phone, or finding new sleezy ways to fuck with me.
And, as bad as I'd LOVE to get 'em back... there's a point where it's ILLEGAL, and I REFUSE to stoop as low as them, especially when their half-whits that don't even understand that they're being evil. Then, I'd have to go to court, and all that bullshit... Näh... fuck that!
So..... by May, after a long list of stressful bullshit, there were days when i just didn't want to get out of bed... I had pain in various parts & places on my body, including my scalp which would bleed, ooze, and shed scaly bits of skin, or the subluxations all along my spine, and my government insurance which was constantly being screwed with, and can;t go to a chiropractor, and still in limbo about this, this, and that... Other days I'd puff up like a balloon, because of the additives in the foods i got from the foodbank... but, hey hen u got nothing to eat, weird shit ends up in ur mouth... and next thing ya know...... ur sick again... like I was saying, by May, I started to take walks, on days when it wasn't either raining or bitterly cold. At least my asthma isn't AS BAD now that i had the nasal & throat surgeries, so I'm LESS prone to infections than before.
But, now, I get ear infections because I have to wash my sinuses... and I had ear infections like crazy that wouldn't go away... (long long long story, including doctors... and if I write about it, I'll be irate for days, so, let's not go there.)
Walks got longer, and longer... and also even tho' i was grateful to FINALLY be able to go outside, and have to figure out routs to walk so as NOT to be annoyed by folks I DID NOT WANT TO TALK TO, LET ALONE EVEN LOOK AT NOR BE SEEN BY (long story), I started getting bored with it...
And, of course, my spouse would tell me to exorcize... so, I said: Well, I walk every day at least twice for about 20-45 min each time... and it's NOT like I have any diet food. Also, when it rains, I have a lot of pain, and stiffen-up, which sets me back all over again... and, I kept running out of aspirin.
Long story short... I decided to get back into yoga again.
I LOVE yoga! Just not the weird shit kind, with idol worshiping Hinduism... Or chanting magical words or names of the gods... whatever... That shit can take a flying leap. I couldn't care less about the god of chaos, and it's insatiable petty needs of being worshiped or praised, or grotesque images of creepy monster gods where dead human body parts, and fucked up weird shit like that. it's bad enough that I have relationships with Christians that aren't supposed to worship idols but have hideous images & statues of a man being tortured & murdered to death bleeding from thorns stuck in his head, and nails in his limbs writhing in pain.... That's not only disgusting, but it's disturbing.
But, I DO like meditations, of all kind, including breath-work (like ujai), imagery, trance meditations, vocal meditations like "om", and Joppa meditation ("Ah"), and moving meditations, like Qi-Gong, Taiji Chuan, Vinyassa yoga, and even knitting. Yes, knitting is meditative. But, I don't do these things for ego-based motives like because I think it'll give me magical powers or anything. been there, done that... u can hav it. that shit fucks up ur life. I just do it for mental, physical, and emotional health & well being... hey, if u wanna argue that's an ego based motive... fine whatever... but, from a logical standpoint, if it makes me feel good, better, and improves my health, & brain functions & reduces stress, that LOGICALLY i AM GONNA DO THAT.
A number of my progressive friends, or groups frown on stuff like that sometimes... but, it doesn't bother me if people that teach yoga or qigong talk about 'third eye', or 'chakras'... I know u can;t prove it, and it's often over-done, and everyone has a different opinion of what that means, etc... and, whether u want to argue about whether it's science vs. superstition, I've been on both perspectives... because I've seen quite a bit debunked on the western end... and YET, I ALSO lived in far east Asia, specifically China, and I've personally witnessed Gungfu masters do incredible things EVERY SINGLE TIME. That PROVES there's a a science there... even if YOU don;t understand it, or can;t even quantify it, let alone qualify it yet...
Anyways....
Once it was warm enough to go swimming, I would swim almost every day... unless it rained, or was cold... it's been a cold summer again this year too up here.
So, If went from walking + yoga, to walking + yoga + swimming. pretty much every day.
Yeah... when u first start out doing stuff, u get sore... then it sets u back 1-3 weeks, but i just do what i can...
But, then, that gets boring.... can;t break a sweat really... and I'm exercising the heck outta myself! WTF?
So.... I remembered my old routines and stuff... I got loads of DVDs & videos on my hard drive, and there's also youtube...
So, i started doing Dolphina & Neena & Veena....
I started doing those by mid-late June, adn OMFG I was soooooo friggin' sore!
So, I only did what i could... then, I would rotate between Dophina (which is sometimes kinda drunk, stoned, or whatever on some videos) to Veena & Neena, to Rachel Brice yoga, doing more & more until I could do everything... and I can do quite a bit of Rachel Brice's Serpentine drills now... still working on it, but I'm better at it than ever now.
Then, I started doing more stuff with yoga on youtube. haven't done this much before. Solar Salutations, Lunar Salutations, (Vinyassas) and I even found the more rare Earth Salutations...
I'm not the best at it, but some things i'm more advanced than I thought, and I didn't even know it... *scratches head* I found a video that said it was about opening & stretching the shoulders and so on... but, i was disappointed, because even tho' the teacher of the video was struggling I was confused because I thought I was doing it wrong because I couldn't feel the stretching... dumb-ass me! No... I could stretch further because i'd been practicing Tribal bellydance muscular isolations + stretches since 2008. took me a a week & a half to realize that. each day, I'm trying to figure out why i can;t feel the stretches... Duh! I'm stretched out there, just need to find a deeper stretch by twisting...
Then, I decided to go back into Qigong sine the end of last month... I was expecting it to be hard, and that I'd be sore, but since I'd been keeping up with yoga, and my bellydance isolations + my swimming routines, I found I could ACTUALLY keep a wide stance without any trouble. I'd NEVER been able to do that in my life!
But, I'm in no way shape or form super great at it. I'm still wobbly & awkward, and same thing in yoga still.
I also found out there were different versions of "8 duan jin" (AKA Ba Duan Jin) or as my old shifu called it "ba/8 ge duan". 8 duan jin is from Qigong, but qigong is often utilized in not just Taiji but also in Gungfu martial arts. (No I'm NOT a martial artist) So, I found a Shaolin version of 8 duan... and, so i tried it. I thought I wouldn't be able to do it, but I did it just fine. ^_^ ...well, it could be better... but, I didn't get tired, didn't fall over, and no pain. ^_^ So, that's doing pretty well in my point of view. Now, I do both variations of 8 duan.
Altho' I could REALLY use a spinal adjustment or 2, or 3... it's all crooked again. :-/
I don't look any different tho'... But I exercise MORE this summer than any other summer in my entire life, including when i was a teenager, and I worked out A LOT back then.
Working out, doesn't really make ya loose weight when ya get older.... but, it SURE makes u feel better.
The one workout I do the most is Veena & Neena's "Slim Down".
you will sweat like crazy. but, it REALLY does something to adjust my mood, and it's VERY noticeable. It's also easier than it looks at first. You can find a cut-up version YouTube, and the DVDs on Amazon.
You can find Dolphina on Hulu for FREE.
I actually like Dolphina, despite the obvious blunders in SOME of her videos. But, her heart is in the right place. I also LOVE the music in the Dolphina videos.
Rachel Brice's Serpentine Double DVD set is available like everywhere.
Keep in mind, that even tho' it says beginners can use it... it's NOT for beginners. it's ADVANCED, but an intermediate can benefit from quite a bit of it. Tribal bellydance utilizes MUSCULAR movements. So, it's way more hard-core than just ur basic Raqs Sharqi cabaret stuff, which is more joint movement isolations, and has more shimmy movements or sweeping movements. Raqs can have its challenges too, but doesn't have the disciplines that tribal does. I like both, but I never stop learning... and I'm glad i got back into it, and that I'm not sick like before.
If you want to find other stuffs I mentioned, just type in the keywords on youTube or google: qigong, ba duan jin, yoga vinyassa, etc...
anyways...... I'm still learning... just do what i can, and just continue, and then try something more...
I didn't expect to be doing qigong again, nor all the stuff I'm doing now back in May 7 June, but it's early August now.... baby steps, ya know?
The other videos I was doing were in the winter which were by my teacher Zoe Jakes:
The Drill video: Killer Drillz
and her Encyclopedia of STUFF 4 DVD box set: From A-Zoe
And, Sadie's drill video: Thrillin' Drillin'
I'll probably get back into those again, by winter... but, it's a different direction than I'm at currently.
I think I REALLY wanna stick with the Neena & Veena and Rachel Brice (and some Dolphina rotated in there) for now, with the other Yoga & Qigong supplementing it. I also still swim pretty much every day, and walk to South Field.
Well.... Rome wasn't built in a day....
At least I don't have the stress sicknesses like before, and I feel better...
Ya can't be beautiful forever... but, at least i don;t feel sick & tired. :)
