From Messy To Tidy
Since I was a kid, my parents use to constantly tell me how messy, or slobby I was... and that they expected me to grow-up & mature like all the other kids.... I also get something similar from my spouse whom swears I'm SO MESSY!
Well... yeah, this is messy... but, I've had worse... but, if you EVER met ANY of my friends from NEW JERSEY, and even about half from PA, this is NOTHING.... My worst day is better than THEIRS'!
Yeah! I'm lookin' at YOU NJ! They also tend to say: "Don't mind the mess." probably, because, like me they just sort-of mentally tune-out the mess, since they have a ton of stuff to do, or on their mind...
However, I've found my biological family members are quite clean, or at least mostly tidy, in general. Even my step-mother is rather tidy, usually.
OK, lemme show you my whole untidy private bedroom "powder room"/"wet closet".
The Sink BEFORE:
I have A.D.D. or A.A.D.D., so I easily get distracted. EASILY. But, since I'm much older now, I know several tips & tricks to compensate for it, and can CHOOSE to focus when I want to. (My daughter has A.D.H.D. so she needs a supervisor, or coach.)
Know your flaws or limits, and work from their....
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Tip #1: STRONG CAFFEINE Alkaloid Substances in liquid beverage form
*Coffee, Macha (Green Tea Powder) x3 scoops with milk or some kind of drink, hot or cold.
DON'T do this at night, or you won't be able to sleep.And, don;t do this after 5PM either unless you don't mind insomnia... because I HATE IT.
*Tip #2: GET YOUR DOCTOR TO PRESCRIBE YOU RITALIN or ADDERALL!
*WHOAH! I'll bet you're focused NOW! WOO-HOO!
Don't DO THIS AT NIGHT, NOR anytime after 1PM... otherwise you won't sleep.
*Tip #3: Write a To-Do List, Agenda, Outline, or Plan
* THEN check off each thing as you do it, so you don't get all scattered, and go all over the place, especially if you are cleaning while ALONE, or without a supervisor...
It really works. Get a note-book. It helps you to feel organized, even if you're a big ol' mess. It's a trick to psych yourself into being tidy or organized without really trying. ;) Probably 1 o' THE oldest tricks in the book, pun intended.
*Tip #4: MUSIC!!!!!! Especially Upbeat Music.
*
OK, this is SOOOOOO IMPORTANT! If u can't get any stimulants, or meds, you WILL need your music!
Stereo, Hi-Fi, boom-box, Walkman, Diskman, iPod, Mp3 Player, computer, smartphone on full blast, or a radio.
SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!!!!
And, if you CAN'T get ANY access to music, sing, hum, or whistle something! Stamp your feet, or run some kind of rhythmic machine like a dishwasher, air conditioner, engine, or whatever... Open a window and listen to birds, rain, storm, crickets, cicadas, treefrogs... if you get bored easily, the silence will make you crazy, and drive u OUT OF YOUR MIND, and you'll be a scatter-brain all over again.
The human brain responds to patterns such as rhythms quite easily, and if you are especially playing music you like. Then, you start to synch with the music, unconsciously, and it's no-longer like conscious work... you just FEEL your way through the chores/labor.
DON'T play music that will make you sleepy, too slow, nor too relaxing, because you will fall asleep, slack-off, or get distracted... Even if you have a head ache (at least find something that's somewhat upbeat and melodic is not much percussion).
*Tip #5: If All Else Fails Get a Coach or Supervisor:
If you're a more severe, or somewhat feeling like a hopeless case, get some kind of over-seer to help you stay focused. I'm sure EVERYONE has some annoying or overbearing relative or neighbor around that loves to tell people what to do... some folks actually work better when observed. Whether you prefer positive or more tough-love is up to you... but, usually when you tell your annoying person to supervise you, they are such suckers and will supervise you for free... because the egotistical satisfaction of telling someone what to do is somehow fulfilling... so, keep that secretly in mind while they're sneering at you unwittingly doing work for you for free...
*Tip #6: Give Yourself Some Kind of Reward When You're Done
*DON'T MAKE YOUR REWARD FOODS! That will encourage or reinforce bad stress eating habits, and you could gain weight. But, a tea is fine.
*Suggestions: Relaxing bath, Hot Water Foot Soak and/or pedicure, Watch that movie you've been wanting to watch, take a drive somewhere. Start that project you've been putting aside now that everything's clean & tidy.... Go swimming, go shopping, take a stroll, or do something positive that makes you feel good: Candles, incense, aroma therapy, spa, yoga, meditation, healthy nap, or play with your children and/or pets.
When I clean-up or tidy-up I pretty much ALWAYS listen to Techno, or some kind of dance music, especially electronic types.
Here's pretty much what the stuffs I was playing today.
But, play what you like....
I LOVE Hi-NRG Eurodance 90s Techno!
The Sink AFTER:
Still a lil' bit wet... but, organized, and nice n tidy!
Now, onto my Computer Desk:
BEFORE:
This actually isn't that bad... but, it's bothering me... and also my spouse. :-/
It's NOTHING like what it looked like in the winter. That was like a large pile of stuff!
After:
Well, that was easy! It's easier, when you at least try to keep up with it, otherwise you'll have a huge pile... been there, done that... and NO I don't have self loathing for being messy... there's so many OTHER things of greater importance going on within my mind frequently to care about perfectly tidy X,Y, and Z...
*Yes: I used my mouse with my LEFT HAND.
Unless I need to use precision, like with art, I use the mouse right-handed. (It also helps you to use more of your brain, and think clearly.)
*I'm Actually MOSTLY Right-Handed
*Yes, I'm somewhat semi ambidextrous depending on what I'm doing. I write with my right hand, and am generally right hand dominant. Example: I ONLY play billiards/Pool left-handed. And, sometimes I eat left-handed (and YES with chopsticks as well as a fork or spoon. Why? Because laziness... my right hand is more comfortable to prop-up my head. ;P )
Now, contrary to ALL of those over-baring neat-freaks that SWEAR up & down that "If you keep tidy, and organized you
feel better, and
have sense of accomplishment & fulfillment once your finished.", you know those ones, especially the "clutter-clearing consumerism-brainwashed "throw it all away & buy more", or non-Chinese religiously Feng Shui wannabes.... well, lemme tell you:
I HAVE NEVER FELT THAT WAY!
I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED SAID EMOTIONAL EUPHORIA.
TIDINESS & RITUALIZED CLEANING HAS NEVER EVER DONE ANYTHING TO IMPROVE MY MENTAL STATE, HEALTH, NOR WELL-BEING, LET ALONE MY SELF ESTEEM.
My sense of self worth is NOT dependent upon my ability to be tidy, nor to even get things done.
However, organization DOES HELP.
To all of those folks that swear by insisting everything must be absolutely tidy, neat, clean, organized, etc. the rest of us that have our minds on other things would like to point out to YOU that you have some kind of powerlessness self-esteem issue, and it would seem to us that you are trying to assert control over yourself outside of you by structurizing everything to try and compensate for feeling so unorganized or powerless inside of you. It's even worse when you try and FORCE your ideas ONTO us in ANOTHER layer of imaginary control within your mind....
I used to have a friend (no longer friends with) that I found was often clueless, bewildered, lost & confused and constantly came to me for attention, advice, suggestions, encouragement, etc... when you're friends with someone, true friendship doesn't really judge. You just accept a person for who they are, and if that person is actively asking for help, or encouragement, a true friend WILL acquiesce. This person told me that I was admired by that person, and that I inspired that person.I helped out that person quite a lot, and NEVER asked for anything in return... that what a true friend does...
However, once the tides turned a bit and my former friend was in a position to help me out in return, and insisted that person would... well, that person was less than equal, and often half-hearted in returning the friendship... this person also acted as tho' the friendship was burdensome, and was often resentful in private, but would show-off that this person was my friend in public, and frequently leveraged my weaknesses or times of need against me, or any action/gesture/favor was also another source of leverage...
This same individual also was one of those clean-freaks. This person was a mess inside.... and compensated outwardly.
This is kind of my big Flipping the bird to that person....
Tho' I'm SURE that person will NEVER read this. ;)
Even if that individual DID: Both of my middle fingers are erect at YOU! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
Oh, and THANK YOU for READING MY BLOG! :D Google thanks you too!
Cha-ching, sucker!
Doesn't that just burn you up?
Final Notes:
I, of course, realize that was snarky and spiteful... ;P but, neat-freaks like that pick on messy people so harshly for being mentally unorganized, or a wreck, or whatever other kinds of nasty, word-shaming they can think of...
Actually, it goes both ways... some folks, like me, have medical issues or problems like ADD. Does that mean that CAN'T be neat, clean, tidy, or that they're horrible persons?
Of course not!
Then, like much of the folks I grew up with, went to school with, etc. had stressful childhoods, drug addict parents, neglectful or abusive parents, or they had overbearing parents...
If you're parents were overly strict and then you become an adult and are on your own, you might end up becoming messy... or, if your parents were slobs, you might go off on your own as an adult and become a tidy person, because you consciously decided you don't approve of your parents' lifestyle...
Neat-freaks can have just as many mental & emotional issues as messy folks, they just coped with it the opposite way.
Sure, overly messy folks need help, but so do tidy-centric folks.
You don't REALLY know what they've been through, how they feel on the inside.... but, start by TRYING to understand THE PERSON ON THE INSIDE, NOT just what you see on the outside.
Don't FORCE "help" (as control) if a person doesn't want it... maybe that's your cue to be a listener instead.
And, to both sides... try to self reflect about HOW other people view you... but, TRY to understand that. Is it healthy, unhealthy, helpful, harmful...
Sometimes displays of concern CAN be a good thing... within reason...
Know yourself, know your flaws...
-and, if you're NOT SURE, take some time to self reflect upon yourself.
Who are you really?
Who would you LIKE to be?
Can you do, or become better?
And, even if you're broke or out of most options at the moment, what can you do in this moment?
Sometimes, when you get judgmental of others, it's because you subconsciously recognize something within yourself that you don't like about yourself within that other person...
To my friends whom, like me, have had trouble organizing, those were just my tricks & suggestions...
Am I telling you WHAT TO DO?: No.
That's just what I've stumbled upon in my own life... you can take it, or leave it. Either way, it doesn't bother me.
To the neat-freaks I personally.... well.... I already figured that no amount of suggesting you "get help" would ever do a lick of good... but, I know of several that have crashed & burned this year, including recently, in a variety of ways... I would hope these high-strung individuals, whom I know are at least somewhat smart if not very smart, and hope it doesn't come to an extreme before those individuals address whatever it is that's suppressed or bugging you on the inside.
Ironically, being nice to them, supportive and present didn't go over well with them... and they enjoy pretending they are the calm cool-headed folks outwardly... I prologize for coming off as dismissive, but you only seem to notice when I'm "negative".
I'd like someone to explain to me, how that's somehow MY fault...
Here's an idea:
Something bugging you?
Blog or journal about it!
You'll feel MUCH BETTER!
In fact, I feel GREAT right now!
